Juliann Bortz began to weep as she sat in her mostly empty dining room and described how the Catholic church murdered her faith.
Other than a few pieces of heavy furniture and some painted rocks from her grandchildren, there's notmuch here. The 72-year-old priest abuse survivor and her husband areselling their sprawlingranch home near Lehigh Valley Hospital to downsize.
She thought these retirement years would be better, maybe even golden.
"I'm not sure there's much joy," Bortz said.
The somber mood in her dining room contrasted the sunny August day outside, as light reflected off the in-ground swimming pool in the landscaped backyard.
"I didn't think it was going to be like this," she said. "I didn't think I'd be fighting this long."
Bortz was one of the first Pennsylvania priest abuse survivors to come forward, reaching out for help shortly after the Boston scandal broke in January 2002.
Sixteen years later, she testified beforea Pennsylvania grand jury that ultimately determined in an August 2018 report that 301"predator priests" had abused more than 1,000 victims.
She thought by now the Pennsylvania Legislature would have provided victims with a path to justice. But her hopes are increasingly fleeting amid a stalemate among lawmakers and a botched referendum to allow victims to sue their abusers.
"It's overdue to do the right thing," Bortz said.
Losing faith
Bortzhas lived with the pain of sexual abuse for 56 years, but it's the trauma of deception that still gnaws at her.
She is still visibly shaken when she speaks about Father Frank Fromholzer taking her and a friend to the Poconos in 1965.
That trip, which he described as going to "paradise," slowly became her hell. She was molested multiple times throughout the course of an academic year. It didn't stop until she moved to a different school building.
Now, a web of lies keeps her stuck in the past and separated from her faith.
"I don't have faith. I lost it. They killed it," Bortz said. "Something inside of me died. They murdered it."
It's not just the lies her religion teacher told her when he abused her during her freshman year at Allentown Central Catholic. It's not just the lies the Catholic Church told when it covered up abuse for decades.
Bortz also feels deceived by Pennsylvania lawmakers, who have said they stand with victims but haven't moved to bring them to justice.
"They haven't even put up the vote," she said.
Bortz is among thousands of child sexual abuse victims who have no path to justice because the state statute of limitations doesn't allow it.
In the three years since the grand jury report was released, lawmakers have had multiple opportunities to provide victims with a window of justice to sue their abusers and the institutions that protected them.
Several other state legislatures passed reform after the Pennsylvania report, but the Pennsylvania Legislature continues to lag behind and tip the scales of justice in favor of the Catholic Church.
Bortz and other older victims say they now fear they will die without justice.
"There will be a window someday, but not in my lifetime," she said.
State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, who led the largest investigation of Catholic clergy abuse in the U.S., also believes there will eventually be a retroactive window of justice in Pennsylvania for victims to sue their abusers.
"I am certain we will get there," he said during a phone interview with the USA TODAY Pennsylvania Capital Bureau.
But Shapiro, who is expected to run for the Democratic nomination for governor in 2022,said victims are currently still let down by the "shameful conduct of the Department of State" and a "Pennsylvania Senate that continues to side with insurance company lobbyists."
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Justice delayed and denied
State Reps. Jim Gregory, R-Blair County, and Mike Rozzi, D-Berks County, both victims of childhood sexual abuse, have led the legislative effort to reopen the state’s statute of limitations to give survivors more time to seek justice in civil courts.
With Senate Majority Leader Kim Ward blocking House Bill 951, which would statutorily reopen the window, over constitutionality concerns and insisting the correct remedy is a constitutional amendment, Gregory said there is little more to be done.
“There’s nothing that we can do currently because, as (the bill) sits on the desk of the Majority Leader Ward, the ball is in her court,” Gregory said last week.
House Bill 951 passed the House 149-52 on April 7 and then was amended and approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee in a 11-3 vote on April 21, but it has been stalled in the Senate.
“What is new? There’s no need for anything new,” said Gregory. “It’s the same song and dance as it was in the spring, and I’m tired of singing. I’m tired of dancing. I’ve done everything I can to get this to the point it is now.”
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Gregory said that he had sent two emails to Ward between late May and late June requesting a meeting, but had not received a response. After the USA TODAY Network's Pennsylvania State Capital Bureauasked Ward’s office about that, a spokesperson responded that at least one of Gregory’s emails had not made it to Ward’s scheduler.
Gregory said Aug. 25that he and Ward met the previous day, but he declined to discuss the content of their conversation. Ward's office did not respond to an email about the meeting.
In a recent statement, Ward said a constitutional amendment was the “strongest path to justice” for abuse survivors.
“A retroactive window for victims of childhood sexual abuse to sue for expired claims has no quick fix as there is neither case law nor legal precedent to support it in Pennsylvania,” Ward said.
“Additionally, this important issue affects all Pennsylvanians and many entities including school districts and community organizations.”
The earliest an amendment could appear on the ballot in a statewide referendum would be the spring2023.
But it was expected to be on theballot in lastMay's primary.
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A blunder that delayed action
Constitutional amendments are required to be advertised each time they are passed by the Legislature, but the Pennsylvania Department of State failed to do that when the statute of limitations amendment bill was passed last year.
The blunder cost then-Secretary of State Kathy Boockvar her job in early February and led to an inspector general's report to find out what happened.
Boockvar has not returned calls seeking further information.
A report released in May by the state's inspector general determined that the failure to advertise the amendment was the result of "a combination of internal systemic failures" within the Department of State.
Acting Secretary of State Veronica Degraffenreid admitted that it was a "systemic breakdown," and she vowed to implement changes to ensure a similar mistake would not reoccur.
Bortz has trouble believing it was an honest mistake.
"This whole process has made me question everything," she said.
Ward said she understands the emotional aspects of the issue, but said legislators must address the issues in a legal manner, under the state constitution, which she claims is different from other state constitutions.
About two dozen states have provided a window of justice or changed state statutes to make it easier to sue child sex abusers, including blue states like New York and red states like Alabama.
The advocacy group CHILD USA has been among the main groups pressuring Ward to allow House Bill 951 to get a vote in the state Senate, issuing papers countering Ward’s argument that the bill is unconstitutional andputting up billboardsin Ward’s district and Harrisburg.
More than 9,000 survivors took advantage of New York’s two-year window to file lawsuits, which, they said, is often the best way to expose abusers and their institutions decades after the abuse has occurred.
The Harrisburg diocese, which is in bankruptcy, has paid more than $12 million to 106 survivors through the Victims Compensation Fund, according to Mike Barley, a longtime Republican strategist in Pennsylvania and a consultant for the diocese.
The diocese had supported the fund instead of a retroactive window because it allowed survivors to "get help quickly without a legal trial situation," he said.
If victims took any settlementmoney from the fund, they had to sign an agreement they would not sue the church later. Advocates for survivors say the fund was a cheaper option for the church than being sued.
Jillian Ruck, the executive director of CHILD USA, saidfederal legislation would incentivize states to pursue statute of limitations reform.
In the meantime, though, she said her group will hold a rally on Sept. 20 in Harrisburg when state senators return to session “to remind them that we are not going anywhere and will continue to push for this legislation.”
Gregory, the state lawmaker,said older victims are running out of time for justice and that for every day one of them dies or gives up their fight for statute of limitations reform “is another day that is a success for those powers to keep this from happening.”
If survivors and their supporters are left to pursue a lengthy amendment process, Gregory said that’s what they will do.
“I do not see any obstacles, but I did not see any obstacles when the governor called me on February 1 to inform me that the Secretary of the Commonwealth had failed to do her job,” he said, “so I take nothing for granted.”
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Dying without justice
Lawyers for victims say some of their clients have already died while waiting for justice in Pennsylvania.
Mitch Garabedian, who has represented priest abuse victims since before the Boston scandal was uncovered by the Boston Globe, charged that the delay in Pennsylvaniais part of the Catholic Church's playbook.
"Part of the church's strategy is to delay justice so elderly victims will die," he said. "Or they drag it out so long people get frustrated and give up."
That's already the case with Bob Corby, an 86-year-old abuse survivor in Bethlehem.
He carried his secret for decades, never telling his wife and regretting that he couldn't hug his kids. Corby shared his story publicly during the grand jury report, but recently he said he just can't do it anymore.
Garabedian represents 500 victims in Pennsylvania and thousands more across the country. He works with many elderly clients and also new clients who were abused in the 1990s. He's learned clergy abuse survivors can't come forward until their coping mechanisms allow them to, which typically doesn't happen until they're in their 30s, 40s or later.
"For many elderly victims, coming forward and reporting is the last item on their bucket list," he said.
They typically end up re-victimized because their abusers are protected by Pennsylvania laws, Garabedian said.
He's already had clients die without justice, and another client, Cheryl Anastasiu, is worried she will not see justice before she dies.
Anastasiu, a 75-year-old survivor in Hutchinson, Westmoreland County, has never told her story in court. She hasn't wanted to remember it or relive it.
But she did tell her kids years ago. She's explained why she couldn't go to her sister's wedding inside a church 30 years ago. And she reached out to state Attorney General Josh Shapiro's office and Garabedian around the time of the grand jury report.
Still racked with shame, secrets and pain, Anastasiu didn't want to be on camera. She doesn't want her picture out there. She would only talk to a reporter with herlawyer on the phone.
She struggled through tears to get the words out, but eventually she said them: "I was raped."
The abuse by a priest started when she was about 8 years old in CCD classes, preparing to take her first holy communion, she alleged. It continued until she was about 12 and finished her confirmation classes.
Now that she has told her story and there hasn't been any justice, she's hurting all over again.
"I need this recovery. I haven't been normal for years," she said through tears.
Anastasiu said she needs justice because she's been carrying this burden for more than 65 years. Her husband had cancer and died of COVID-19 in February 2020 without seeing her get justice.
Her mother never believed her that she was abused by a priest, but Anastasiu told her she forgave her on her death bed anyway. She still can't walk into a church.
She's begging Ward, who is from her home county, to put up a bill for a vote.
"Put yourself in my place. Think of your children. If it was them, would you want closure for them?" Anastasiu said. "I feel victimized over and over again when they do nothing."
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Fighting for justice and peace
For some victims, justice means a two-year window to sue their abusers.
For Bortz, it's a little different. It's something that might help to alleviate the heaviness of deception.
"I want to see somebody on a witness stand," she said. "I want to see a bishop sworn-in, to tell the truth because they honestly don't know how to do that."
As an adult, when she reached out to the church for help as she tried to heal from the abuse, she was told to pray and go to confession. She wants to know why.
"I would love a Q&A with our bishop. No lawyers, just us," Bortz said.
But there's one lawyer who still wants to help.
"These victims...mean the world to me," Shapiro said. "Their bravery and willingness to help inspired me and continues to inspire me. They have led to other survivors speaking up. I'll never quit on them."
Bortz sees Shapiro as one of the good guys. It's the people who pretend to be good publicly — like the priest who abused her and the church leaders who covered it up —and are bad behind closed doors who bother her the most.
It's that deception she hates.
The church is supposed to set the example, she said.
"My family and I followed their rules, but they didn't live by their own rules. I was taught it was a sin to let someone touch me, and the priest touched me," Bortz said.
She feels like lawmakers also live by their own set of rules.
"They said they would stand with victims, but they're not," Bortz said. "They're standing with the church. They're standing with the lobbyists. I just want them to stop lying. Lying is wrong."
After all, she said, lying is a sin.
Candy Woodall is a reporter for the USA TODAY Network Pennsylvania Capital Bureau. She can be reached at 717-480-1783 or on Twitter at @candynotcandace.
